Idk... Anything that feels like a 'real job'. But realistically I don't think I want to do anything. Any job I get I'll just be exploited by parasites at the top, what difference does it make? I have no real ambitions in a concrete sense, just an overriding sense of failure and lack of hope.
Thank you anon, that's kind of you.
Anyway... I was laying in bed being sad and googling shit like "failure at life" "I want to die", "depression wasted life" et cetera like I do sometimes, but I couldn't take the con artists and grifters that popped up. What do they know about it? What does anyone know about it if they have a career and a successful life? How the fuck could they give me advice about anything? Fuck them! Fuck I hate everything. I really feel like shit tonight, so often I do. I don't think I can deal with how things are...
I wish I had the strength to do anything other than just sleep and play video games and try not to think about anything... I wish I could just not wake up. I can't bear it...
I'm sorry. I wanted to make this topic to help myself but I'm never going to do anything to help myself. Any kind of adversity or something I don't want to do and I just won't do it. I just can't...
I meant that I know they're not little things. I'm sorry if you are struggling as well.
Sigh. I feel the urge to vent more even though it doesn't achieve anything. I just want to die.